Monthly Archives: November 2013

1 STEP FORWARD 50,000 BACKWARDS!!!!!!!!!!!

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So after I wrote the blog about single, to be or not to be, nuh love an hip hop atlanta mi buck up inna!!!!! (yes all now mi nuh sleep from mi wake yesterday 😦 been trying since I got home)

Dear Jesus a weh a gwaan inna John shop?! unoo see say unoo coulda deh wid man fi uptime years (in this instance thirteen) pickney and all ONLY to have the man MARRIED to someone who he has known for less than a year.

Ladies seriously, although I am secretly hoping this story line is fake we all KNOW that is really happening. We need fi do better bout ladies, a man cannot dish out that which we are Not willing accept. You see what she say in this situation, he cheated once before and now he has done it again!!

Lord, give me strength cause I swear that man would be 6 feet under…an den it nuh dun deh seh unoo, she go meet wid di girl, look here your business is not with the girl, its with man! I swear is like all the struggles that people like maya angelou an everybody before and afta her that promoted female independence and assertiveness, either a role in dem grave and has taken like 5000 step backwards!!!!!!!!

C’mon ladies, get it together man, zeeeessss AND then to top it off, this bald head man Joe Budden a try use him big head bout him have a girl just a chat in di room inna di bed weh him an ooman share?! a who him think bawning yessiday.  I swear if man like dat still deh bout mi ago single for the rest a mi life.

I mean, I am all for entertain mi jus caan bodda wid the foolishness man…mona scott young u need fi do betta man….when I read the bio of these new ladies they all sound accomplished with place going, but in this last episode I find myself search for those bios to see if they made an error.

So to anyone reading this, that is in no way shape or form the reality of independent professional women, some of us really have no need to accept mediocrity from man or any other being and KNOW that it IS okay to be single, a word which should never be associated with LONELY! nuff extra circular activities deh bout to keep you busy.

Respect yourself. – lol I will say though that that girl amena showing of teh marriage licence was priceless – lol u know for entertainment purposes but dear Lord what a mess

Single! To be or Not to be, THAT IS the question

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Disclaimer:  Rated R…please tuck the little ones into bed before reading this, but u know maybe it not as graphic as I think but just in case.

I got a message from a friend (one of my ex) to help him with his cover letter and resume for a job that he was going to apply for today (yes people I kip good relations wid my exes; afta mi nuh know weh life ago dish out gi mi!) and I figured why not just fight the fight and write the write…plus people have been asking what happen the blog?! Normally it in my google thing and now mi nuh see it! Lol so here goes 😀

For as much single frenz that I have I think I have as much married friends, but sometimes I swear I caan tell the difference cause more time the married people dem gwaan and act like dem single while the single one dem jus a DEAD fi have smaddy or fi get married.

Me personally I have never had the dream that I wanted to be married at 25 with 2 children with a husband; how I see it and how it still a gwaan is that I am winging it! Lol to be in a relationship takes time and you have to work on it and trust me between adult day care (there is a story behind this) and this blog I don’t have the time.

Personally I have had my fair share of boyfriends over the years, some mi get buss ass fah, lol bout mi a come offa school buss and go look fi boyfriend (my father did give me what I was looking for that day) and some mi nearly get put out fah, probably was one in the same! Not to mention the time mi faddda lef the key wid mi bredda an mi long time tek it weh from him to go look fi the cutie cross the way only to have my fada do a “reverse back” ask mi bredda fi the key and be told that I have it and for no good reason. Wwwooiieee people when the belt done pop inna 6 pieces, a di limb dem offa di willow tree him draw fah hahahahah aye sah those were the days! (Hahahahah mi know say nuff a unoo neva know say a so mi used to bad!!!) Lol aye bwoy , a di odda mi a wonda weh di hell mi did see inna dem bwoy fi a tek so much lik.

But anyway, I doan think the amount a boyfriend dem weh me have did reach double digit yet though (surprising don’t?! Lol but a real thing…I’m a nester so once mi in it mi in it) however, out of all of them there are three that are most prominent to me and that I will always be grateful for what they taught me (pleasant & unpleasant)  (nuh worry people we going get into to it likkle).  Nuh feel nuh way all three a dem put me thru some things mi a tell u! wid likkle and continued counseling if you know me well there are two of them who you know I will take them back in a heartbeat!

People I have to give the first one props, this is the one that took me out of my misery, caan put it no other way; after him there was no turning back, literally, only fi mommy Sunday dinner 😀 of course. He was perfect! All this things I needed support, financial, mental, and emotional and all the other “al” that you can think of; but people you see quiet man fraid a dem! You see when we met, he said he didn’t have a girl friend as they broke up n all these things, neva matta to me one bit, I was just glad for the change in my life until one day, mi notice him a move sideways (and ladies this is why I don’t search a man phone! U ago get weh u a look fah! Lol – now he’s finally going to know the truth) so when him go bathe mi search him phone, only to realize that he “ex” was pregnant!!!!! Lawd jee bag pack an bear tings afta dat (move out/in, malice).  Mi say all when mi an him nuh inna nuttin him baby-mother used to call mi bout she waan meet to discuss our relationship! Lol  u know mi affi mek har know say that that is between she an the man, cause as far as I’m concerned he’s single therefore she nuh exist!

Look man as him remind me a only one mistake him mek but u see that one mistake lawd jesas it changed everything! Nah lie it took mi along time to get over it but when I did: MAN!! Lol it was a blessing and a curse!! Mi buck up pon one weh freak not even begin to describe him!!! Lol he was the first person to tell me that I was boring on bed! Lol YESS!!!!!!!! An mi say who did mad like when mi hear?! I was so offened and bex, mi memba the first time him send mi dirty messages (now called sexting) lol mi ask di man a who tell him say him can talk to me so?! Lol nuh ask if him nuh laff afta mi! lol but memba; wwooieeee lol I now have some tricks.  HOWEVER, mek mitell unoo people, dis man, I knew he had a son and “girlfriend” neva matter to me cause I didn’t want anything too serious so we agreed that we would go out an do stuff, all of a sudden homeboy ago tell me say him nuh know who can go out an have fun before 10…so people unoo know who did jus that and what happened when 10 pm came?! Yup mi gone a mi bed! Yea man if him nah leff fi him yaad at 2am him nuh feel good, which to me a rubbish cause at that time u an u man suppose to a look fi come home fi rubba dub dub, right?!

It gets better, him always waan go out, so one day mi say u neva even say mek u carry mi go buy a top yet a mi always affi a spend fi look nice…fawt homeboy mek mi know say all mi need is legging an any blouse mi have! Lol aye bwoy, needless to say it went downhill from there for several reasons, as along time follower on my fassbook page you may or may not have seen mi cuss out smaddy couple years aback.  But it all came to an end one day when mi get mad pon him an ask him how him waan bum sex and him neva eva ask how soap buy an wata pay fah fi mi bathe lol we never spoke until couple years afta that lol a mi big fren now.

Now this was the one that hurt the most, this was the one that I truly loved and he just got up and decided without telling me that he didn’t want to be in the relationship (this hot enuh cause u deh deh a think say all is well) worst we were talking about just sitting down an having some time to discuss the issues were having only to have the boy be a no show for a valentine’s day dinner that I planned, rose petals and all. Took me some time to get over it after crying many sleepless nights and some self assessment I realized where I was wrong but also so how flawed his views of me and life were and therefore thank God that it ended when it did before things got deeper or more complicated.  And yes we are still frenz lol to the point where I didn’t have to key his car this valentine’s day

Having said all of that, I feel like I haven’t answered the title of the blog, but this is how I see it, having read my experience along with you own you can then decide what your answer will be. Personally my answer is to be single, it easier right now as there are certain lifestyle changes that I will have to make and I am not in the frame of mind to do that; plus I always happen to walk into these guys randomly, so I figure the sooner I have less day care activities the more I’ll be able to walk into them.

Lol an to all my male fans out there, mi love unoo same way, jus know we don’t go dutch on shit ok, if u a look we spend you money!!!!! #badexperience And know that I am not running a creech or daycare so please be 35 n up! Lol I will also say though that mi hate a mean man, tek it from me my daddy scar mi fi life when it come on to that! PLUS if u have ever met mi frenz, Camo, DT, Sean Lloyd, Rallo etc etc unoo would a know say unoo nuffi try use unoo big head pon mi, mi have the fuckery move them pon lock.

So jus come srt8 an we’ll be good (more will). Lol

PS my usual disclaimer regarding grammatical errors will remain until I am able to write my blogs at a God damn decent hour!!! read and enjoy.

 

Should You Let the Cats Out of the Bag? Blogging About Family and Friends

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Lol i didnt even think about these things thought when i was starting my blog but hey food for thought

The Daily Post

Once upon a time, I featured a post on Freshly Pressed  in which the author spoke very frankly about her family and their differences. I assumed that since it had been published it was fair game, and she was thrilled to be chosen…

…until her blog attracted more traffic, including family members who didn’t appreciate the notoriety (or who hadn’t realized she was writing about them at all). She asked to have the post removed, deleted much of her blog’s content, and had to patch up the remnants of some severely strained relationships.

It’s a gnarled question: where do you draw the line on what you share about family and friends in a medium that’s fundamentally about letting readers into your life?

View original post 1,382 more words

What’s in a LLM?

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It has been an emotional day, YES if you haven’t heard it from me or seen it on fassbook, twitter or instgram then know that I am Tanya Wright, LLM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lol YESSSSSSS!!!!!! I DID IT maybe I should get all diva and make dem change my business card to reflect my achievements?! Lol I mean haven’t you seen people wid business card with dem BSc and BBA/LLB on it? So putting LLM on mine should be big deal right?! The only thing is, in my current capacity mi caan contribute to the wasting of the government’s limited financial resources (I mean that’s what I am told anyway – Government bruk! Again, another story for another time).

So having gotten little sleep as a result of my new found outlet, I wasn’t going to blog anything tonite but then, in checking the comments on my fassbook post I came across one that made me think why the hell not! I mean it was simple, “you #motivate me”….I got kinda emotional cause this was from my first little brother from another mother;  I mean, we grew up together even when I moved away from next door and outta parish…I watched him read encyclopedias because he was bored! Yes no joke, and he will confirm or either kill me when he reads this lol but guess wah him owe mi one! (;-) Paris is calling my name) lol So I really appreciated his sentiments seeing I never thought that I would motivate anyone.

I won’t lie, the road to this achievement (not jus the LLM) wasn’t easy trust mi! a nuff time mi email the people an tell dem say mi nuh waan do da course yah nuh more but everytime I sent that email and went to bed I always remembered that when I was applying for the course I had prayed and asked God that if this was what I was supposed to be doing I would get through…hey it nuh easy when u get back u grade and not only did u fail, the people dem all a tell u say u totally miss the point of the assignment! Lol mi start fi think to mislef, a wah dis mi tek up doa Lord, but my frenz, faith, and determination pulled me through.

When I tell people about my journey, they are always shocked; so in the interest of anyone out there is unsure of what path to take I will rehash the stages in as few paragraphs as I can in hopes that you too may be motivated. The story is simple really, having left high school with only 2 CXC’s and was unable to redo them like many classmates, my mother suggested that should go and learn a trade at HEART (please note HEART/NTA back in 1998 isn’t what it is now) and being the facety smaddy dat mi be, mi kindly mek har know say a dunce people go HEART lol needless to say she kindly reminded me of my recent results…lol smart ooman when mi think bout it enuh, simple but SIMART! LOVE YOU MOMMY lol. 

Anyway wid bus fare in hand I went ahead to find out what course was available, which was masonry and steel fixing and Joinery & cabinet making…hehehehe I bet u nuff a unoo think mi choose di latter, nope nope nope nope nope nope I did the MASONRY & STEELFIXING 😀 that was the start to we would now say is history. From then I went to Portmore Community College, then unto UTECH still without redoing any CXC! How? Tricks in trade matches box in business lol a joke it really was through the passing the pre engineering course at PCC which led to being enrolled in the Engineering department and because I HATED IT, I sought and received a transfer to building and from then on it was non-stop until I got my degree in 2007 after which I took a break seeing that I didn’t know what I wanted to do career wise.

How did I do it? God, cliché as it sounds, support from my loving mother and great friends that I have met along the way both alive and dead L RIP MP love u loads.

So what in an LLM:

1.      GOD – trust that he has a path, one of my favourite scriptures is Hebrews 11:1 (faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of thins not seen);

2.      Dedication – keep it at no matter how hard it may seem never stop! We always see these quote/pics on fassbook telling us that its always when we are at the finish line that we must push through and I have proven that this is indeed correct;

3.      Support – when I was doing this, I realized how important having the right support was, in light of the fact that there was no classroom, the other participants weren’t friendly or helpful. You need people around you who will have your best interest at heart and trust me, if they are only even able to provide a listening ear, that will make a whole heap a difference especially when u feel like u are alone in this world

The lessons are not only applicable to studying but to life as well, as when I look back in retrospect all three of the above have been constants in my journey. Now I don’t know bout anybody else but one thing I know for sure is that I have the best support system in the world! (Some of whom have been a part of the journey from inception, some that came along way and have seen the changes, emotions, heard the stories how many umpteen time) trust mi when I tell you people there is more to the journey that was stated above but seeing that smaddy tell mi say mi fi keep it short like dem dick! Lol no joke imma end it right here.

Anyway walk good and I’ll see you when I see you. I hope there are no grammatical errors tonite but if they are whatever yah man, mi need some sleep.                                                                                                   

BTW, tonite’s disclaimer relates to persons who have shared their story with me; please be advised that while I will not post whose story it is, the story WILL be told at some point so if u nuh waan u business inna mi blog try nuh tell it to me! Hahahahahahahahahaha lol ENJOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stove? What STOVE?!

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DISCLAIMER: the views expressed here are my own! I don’t profess to be all knowing nor am I a professional writer (mi jus know the basics) as such while commentary is welcomed I really don’t give a shit if you agree with what I am saying as these are my ramblings, views and opinions so share if u like and move on if you don’t.  

So a couple of nights ago I posted on my Facebook page about wanting to do something now that school was over and to release the tension from work.  I thought of doing a blog but then thought what would I write about? Would people be interested in reading it? Are blogs still relevant?  You know our attention for technological advancement changes as often as some of practice practical hygiene (especially for those who are germaphobes). Responses to my post resulted in comments like “u can start by blogging about something you like” which I thought wasn’t helpful cause I like so many things! That same friend went on to say “Blog about your experience with ur just concluded studies, things happening about you, awards show, music, ur fav TV show, ur wonderful friend” lol go see mi a blog bout all ten a mi frenz on an individual basis! Lol just kidding I have more than 10 frenz, I think :-s lol BTW, from time to time I will jump from English to mi patwah (patois) you know for effect and all 😀

Then someone suggested lol and I quote “If ur interested in posting recipes and interesting food, let me know” lol unoo know mi ask him if him know who him a talk to?! Den him have the nerve fi ask fi a spend mi ago spend time cooking dem! Lol crazy!!! It is very clear that he doesn’t know me and know that I do not own a stove! Yes you heard me, lol I DON’T own a stove!!!! This is something that I have never hidden, even from potential “boyfriends” lol (maybe that’s why I don’t have one – but that is for another blog, another time) BUT don’t get it twisted, while I choose not to be domesticated, make no mistake, I CAN cook (ask Camo, Marcia, Damian, Roland, Kirk – lol), matter a fact; Sandra would have it no other way. However having spent several years being responsible for the domestic activities (cooking, washing cleaning ironing) of a household while mommy went and provided for us; the moment I had the choice of opting out of domestication everything went right out the door!

YUP I don’t cook or clean (I have a helper for the latter lol YES people I work way too hard to come home and slave over a dirty place – mind you I stopped cleaning for myself when I started working at that place in 2009 which will remain nameless and my current place of employment).   I mean that’s why they have domestic helpers, car washes etc. etc. etc how I see it is that I am helping the economy and preventing one more robber from entering the streets by making sure that they are gainfully or otherwise employed BUT HEY I DIGRESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

However the story about why I don’t own a stove is simple; it came down to affordability, shocking; but yes, as soon as I was able to afford living on my own (2005), my mother took me to courts (hire purchase to the world) to get my furniture i.e. stove, bed tv, and a fridge; however in keeping with the salary of a civil servant my sales rep told me I had to give up something and proposed giving up the TV lol I thought to myself dis man mad!!!! Give up tv!!!! When it was my only source of entertainment!!!!!! but dis is how I reasoned it out, why tek a stove when mi mother cook for the week every Sunday?! All I needed to do was to figure out how to get the food from her on Sundays, the solution to which came instantly! Mommy volunteered to bring me dinner every week until I could afford to buy a car and come for it myself and for those who know me know that I kept up this arrangement until she migrated in 2011! Lol

I see nothing wrong wid it though, but I still have frenz to this day who wonder how I survive without a stove; and the answer is simple…tastes, mothers, kfc, burger king, lorna’s wendy’s (nuh so much now), dragon garden, crakers, banana chips, oreo’s rice cooker, toaster oven, microwave, electric kettle , bread, cheese, I mean you get the picture?! Right?! Why let the inventions go to waste? In the words of Sizzla “simplicity we use to survive”

Mind u some people will say that that was then but what happen to now, but, let’s face the facts: 1 – mi nahve a soul but miself a cook fah, 2 – I am lazy, this should have been one; 3 – I am never home and when I am home the only thing on my mind is to sleep and to watch TV until I drop asleep… in light of all of that I say why am I investing in an item that I will not use?!

As far as I am concerned, in the words of Courtney Melody –  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z-SnnJXz11k I am a MODERN GIRL take it or leave it lol!

PS. Mi caan believe mi write suh much tings!!!!! OMG there was so much more that could have been said but hey mi affi lef some fi the next post right?! Hope you guys enjoyed!