Stove? What STOVE?!


DISCLAIMER: the views expressed here are my own! I don’t profess to be all knowing nor am I a professional writer (mi jus know the basics) as such while commentary is welcomed I really don’t give a shit if you agree with what I am saying as these are my ramblings, views and opinions so share if u like and move on if you don’t.  

So a couple of nights ago I posted on my Facebook page about wanting to do something now that school was over and to release the tension from work.  I thought of doing a blog but then thought what would I write about? Would people be interested in reading it? Are blogs still relevant?  You know our attention for technological advancement changes as often as some of practice practical hygiene (especially for those who are germaphobes). Responses to my post resulted in comments like “u can start by blogging about something you like” which I thought wasn’t helpful cause I like so many things! That same friend went on to say “Blog about your experience with ur just concluded studies, things happening about you, awards show, music, ur fav TV show, ur wonderful friend” lol go see mi a blog bout all ten a mi frenz on an individual basis! Lol just kidding I have more than 10 frenz, I think :-s lol BTW, from time to time I will jump from English to mi patwah (patois) you know for effect and all 😀

Then someone suggested lol and I quote “If ur interested in posting recipes and interesting food, let me know” lol unoo know mi ask him if him know who him a talk to?! Den him have the nerve fi ask fi a spend mi ago spend time cooking dem! Lol crazy!!! It is very clear that he doesn’t know me and know that I do not own a stove! Yes you heard me, lol I DON’T own a stove!!!! This is something that I have never hidden, even from potential “boyfriends” lol (maybe that’s why I don’t have one – but that is for another blog, another time) BUT don’t get it twisted, while I choose not to be domesticated, make no mistake, I CAN cook (ask Camo, Marcia, Damian, Roland, Kirk – lol), matter a fact; Sandra would have it no other way. However having spent several years being responsible for the domestic activities (cooking, washing cleaning ironing) of a household while mommy went and provided for us; the moment I had the choice of opting out of domestication everything went right out the door!

YUP I don’t cook or clean (I have a helper for the latter lol YES people I work way too hard to come home and slave over a dirty place – mind you I stopped cleaning for myself when I started working at that place in 2009 which will remain nameless and my current place of employment).   I mean that’s why they have domestic helpers, car washes etc. etc. etc how I see it is that I am helping the economy and preventing one more robber from entering the streets by making sure that they are gainfully or otherwise employed BUT HEY I DIGRESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

However the story about why I don’t own a stove is simple; it came down to affordability, shocking; but yes, as soon as I was able to afford living on my own (2005), my mother took me to courts (hire purchase to the world) to get my furniture i.e. stove, bed tv, and a fridge; however in keeping with the salary of a civil servant my sales rep told me I had to give up something and proposed giving up the TV lol I thought to myself dis man mad!!!! Give up tv!!!! When it was my only source of entertainment!!!!!! but dis is how I reasoned it out, why tek a stove when mi mother cook for the week every Sunday?! All I needed to do was to figure out how to get the food from her on Sundays, the solution to which came instantly! Mommy volunteered to bring me dinner every week until I could afford to buy a car and come for it myself and for those who know me know that I kept up this arrangement until she migrated in 2011! Lol

I see nothing wrong wid it though, but I still have frenz to this day who wonder how I survive without a stove; and the answer is simple…tastes, mothers, kfc, burger king, lorna’s wendy’s (nuh so much now), dragon garden, crakers, banana chips, oreo’s rice cooker, toaster oven, microwave, electric kettle , bread, cheese, I mean you get the picture?! Right?! Why let the inventions go to waste? In the words of Sizzla “simplicity we use to survive”

Mind u some people will say that that was then but what happen to now, but, let’s face the facts: 1 – mi nahve a soul but miself a cook fah, 2 – I am lazy, this should have been one; 3 – I am never home and when I am home the only thing on my mind is to sleep and to watch TV until I drop asleep… in light of all of that I say why am I investing in an item that I will not use?!

As far as I am concerned, in the words of Courtney Melody – I am a MODERN GIRL take it or leave it lol!

PS. Mi caan believe mi write suh much tings!!!!! OMG there was so much more that could have been said but hey mi affi lef some fi the next post right?! Hope you guys enjoyed!


About mouttamassytanya

A product of the black green and gold, the land of wood and water: JAMAICA JAMAICA with a dash of Saint Lucia thrown in! Often misunderstood, but once you read my blogs and follow my social media handles you will see that I am nothing but a hardworking Island Girl just trying to live life to the fullest.

22 responses »

  1. I am so glad you started a blog! This promises to be quite entertaining. Great start…yes I am still amazed you don’t own a stove! I understand why u didn’t get one initially but a full time now you upgrade you kitchen. Mek Santa bring you one for Christmas. Hehehehe

  2. Tanya me nave di attenshan span fi read so much but the blog grab me lol no wonda u eva a chat bout miongri lmao me no wrong yuh..ef a me alone stove no sell..hubby do all the cooking and thank God me mada in law did tell him say me is a professional career woman weh no belong ina kitchen lol great job so far. Looking fi more 🙂

  3. Well, mouttamassytanya, wat a mout full!!! yes chile, tell it, life too nice, and too short fi kip up tings. Share – can neva tell who yu ‘elp. Me luv it – 🙂

  4. Nice Tanya very entertaining. Now I know why u always a beg some to get u food and here I thought u was just a big eater. Anyways love ur honesty, and I’m like u in many

  5. TW… This is really good. You are such an inspiration. I am so with you in the no cooking department, have the stove but the gas last year and a half.. Lol…. Looking forward to the next installment.

  6. I must say that I truly enjoy reading that, but unlike you me love my belly too much fi nuh have no stove, kfc, wendys, etc too damn expensive….lolol

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