Single! To be or Not to be, THAT IS the question


Disclaimer:  Rated R…please tuck the little ones into bed before reading this, but u know maybe it not as graphic as I think but just in case.

I got a message from a friend (one of my ex) to help him with his cover letter and resume for a job that he was going to apply for today (yes people I kip good relations wid my exes; afta mi nuh know weh life ago dish out gi mi!) and I figured why not just fight the fight and write the write…plus people have been asking what happen the blog?! Normally it in my google thing and now mi nuh see it! Lol so here goes 😀

For as much single frenz that I have I think I have as much married friends, but sometimes I swear I caan tell the difference cause more time the married people dem gwaan and act like dem single while the single one dem jus a DEAD fi have smaddy or fi get married.

Me personally I have never had the dream that I wanted to be married at 25 with 2 children with a husband; how I see it and how it still a gwaan is that I am winging it! Lol to be in a relationship takes time and you have to work on it and trust me between adult day care (there is a story behind this) and this blog I don’t have the time.

Personally I have had my fair share of boyfriends over the years, some mi get buss ass fah, lol bout mi a come offa school buss and go look fi boyfriend (my father did give me what I was looking for that day) and some mi nearly get put out fah, probably was one in the same! Not to mention the time mi faddda lef the key wid mi bredda an mi long time tek it weh from him to go look fi the cutie cross the way only to have my fada do a “reverse back” ask mi bredda fi the key and be told that I have it and for no good reason. Wwwooiieee people when the belt done pop inna 6 pieces, a di limb dem offa di willow tree him draw fah hahahahah aye sah those were the days! (Hahahahah mi know say nuff a unoo neva know say a so mi used to bad!!!) Lol aye bwoy , a di odda mi a wonda weh di hell mi did see inna dem bwoy fi a tek so much lik.

But anyway, I doan think the amount a boyfriend dem weh me have did reach double digit yet though (surprising don’t?! Lol but a real thing…I’m a nester so once mi in it mi in it) however, out of all of them there are three that are most prominent to me and that I will always be grateful for what they taught me (pleasant & unpleasant)  (nuh worry people we going get into to it likkle).  Nuh feel nuh way all three a dem put me thru some things mi a tell u! wid likkle and continued counseling if you know me well there are two of them who you know I will take them back in a heartbeat!

People I have to give the first one props, this is the one that took me out of my misery, caan put it no other way; after him there was no turning back, literally, only fi mommy Sunday dinner 😀 of course. He was perfect! All this things I needed support, financial, mental, and emotional and all the other “al” that you can think of; but people you see quiet man fraid a dem! You see when we met, he said he didn’t have a girl friend as they broke up n all these things, neva matta to me one bit, I was just glad for the change in my life until one day, mi notice him a move sideways (and ladies this is why I don’t search a man phone! U ago get weh u a look fah! Lol – now he’s finally going to know the truth) so when him go bathe mi search him phone, only to realize that he “ex” was pregnant!!!!! Lawd jee bag pack an bear tings afta dat (move out/in, malice).  Mi say all when mi an him nuh inna nuttin him baby-mother used to call mi bout she waan meet to discuss our relationship! Lol  u know mi affi mek har know say that that is between she an the man, cause as far as I’m concerned he’s single therefore she nuh exist!

Look man as him remind me a only one mistake him mek but u see that one mistake lawd jesas it changed everything! Nah lie it took mi along time to get over it but when I did: MAN!! Lol it was a blessing and a curse!! Mi buck up pon one weh freak not even begin to describe him!!! Lol he was the first person to tell me that I was boring on bed! Lol YESS!!!!!!!! An mi say who did mad like when mi hear?! I was so offened and bex, mi memba the first time him send mi dirty messages (now called sexting) lol mi ask di man a who tell him say him can talk to me so?! Lol nuh ask if him nuh laff afta mi! lol but memba; wwooieeee lol I now have some tricks.  HOWEVER, mek mitell unoo people, dis man, I knew he had a son and “girlfriend” neva matter to me cause I didn’t want anything too serious so we agreed that we would go out an do stuff, all of a sudden homeboy ago tell me say him nuh know who can go out an have fun before 10…so people unoo know who did jus that and what happened when 10 pm came?! Yup mi gone a mi bed! Yea man if him nah leff fi him yaad at 2am him nuh feel good, which to me a rubbish cause at that time u an u man suppose to a look fi come home fi rubba dub dub, right?!

It gets better, him always waan go out, so one day mi say u neva even say mek u carry mi go buy a top yet a mi always affi a spend fi look nice…fawt homeboy mek mi know say all mi need is legging an any blouse mi have! Lol aye bwoy, needless to say it went downhill from there for several reasons, as along time follower on my fassbook page you may or may not have seen mi cuss out smaddy couple years aback.  But it all came to an end one day when mi get mad pon him an ask him how him waan bum sex and him neva eva ask how soap buy an wata pay fah fi mi bathe lol we never spoke until couple years afta that lol a mi big fren now.

Now this was the one that hurt the most, this was the one that I truly loved and he just got up and decided without telling me that he didn’t want to be in the relationship (this hot enuh cause u deh deh a think say all is well) worst we were talking about just sitting down an having some time to discuss the issues were having only to have the boy be a no show for a valentine’s day dinner that I planned, rose petals and all. Took me some time to get over it after crying many sleepless nights and some self assessment I realized where I was wrong but also so how flawed his views of me and life were and therefore thank God that it ended when it did before things got deeper or more complicated.  And yes we are still frenz lol to the point where I didn’t have to key his car this valentine’s day

Having said all of that, I feel like I haven’t answered the title of the blog, but this is how I see it, having read my experience along with you own you can then decide what your answer will be. Personally my answer is to be single, it easier right now as there are certain lifestyle changes that I will have to make and I am not in the frame of mind to do that; plus I always happen to walk into these guys randomly, so I figure the sooner I have less day care activities the more I’ll be able to walk into them.

Lol an to all my male fans out there, mi love unoo same way, jus know we don’t go dutch on shit ok, if u a look we spend you money!!!!! #badexperience And know that I am not running a creech or daycare so please be 35 n up! Lol I will also say though that mi hate a mean man, tek it from me my daddy scar mi fi life when it come on to that! PLUS if u have ever met mi frenz, Camo, DT, Sean Lloyd, Rallo etc etc unoo would a know say unoo nuffi try use unoo big head pon mi, mi have the fuckery move them pon lock.

So jus come srt8 an we’ll be good (more will). Lol

PS my usual disclaimer regarding grammatical errors will remain until I am able to write my blogs at a God damn decent hour!!! read and enjoy.



About mouttamassytanya

A product of the black green and gold, the land of wood and water: JAMAICA JAMAICA with a dash of Saint Lucia thrown in! Often misunderstood, but once you read my blogs and follow my social media handles you will see that I am nothing but a hardworking Island Girl just trying to live life to the fullest.

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