Monthly Archives: November 2014

MY LOVE/HATE AFFAIR

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I am beginning to have a love hate relationship with this place! Imagine working in a place where there is a celebration for staff birthday, an mi nah talk jus a likkle gathering mi mean real party! A place where come Christmas, you are given a choice of between ham or turkey, a bottle of rum poyo (aka egg nog)/wine or non-alcoholic wine PLUS an office party with every liquor that you can think of! A place where taxi fare to anywhere in the district is a mere US$3.50, a place where lunch ranges from US$4.00 – US$12.00 (drinks included). A place where you have to switch from heels to flats, as the majority of the thoroughfare is not heels friendly.  A place where you can walk home and where all the supermarkets are Chinese owned BUT people don’t fool around their restaurants too much.

A place where one day a month you get to take a half day from work, a place where you don’t have to sign in a register, a place where people who don’t come at 8 actually stay pass the end of the work day and get there tasks completed without any interference for their supervisor. A place where a visit to the orthodontist is a mere US$88 compared to US$240 or above (in Jamaica). A place where EVERYONE takes lunch at 12 noon lol I am dead serious! Office hours are written as: 8:00 a.m. – 12:00 and 1:00 p.m. – 5:00 p.m. A place where there are no fast food chains just maybe like 10 restaurants (if so much) and I saw a pizzeria today but at it was closed so I am not too sure if it’s even operational.

Then there is work, for a place with so few people they sure are politicized, I mean today, today just took the cake; Jamaica suddenly didn’t seem so corrupt. For the first time since I have been here I really felt like this would be pointless, I live in a place where people are so highfalutin; you know, caught up in their titles and position as opposed to doing what it takes to get the job done, a place where everyone know each other so you better be careful of how and to who you speak as God forbid you may be speaking ill of the person’s husband/wife/etc. etc. a place where managers (line/junior/senior) cannot participate in activity unless their CEO the equivalent of our PSs (Permanent Secretary) gives approval for the individual manager to participate in that activity.

Now having gone into the “city” my entire mood changed and I just wanted to go home, to a place that as familiar, despite its flaws. On this route to the “city” we drove pass swamps, water logged roads, through a cemetery, a place that reminded me of May Pen cemetery, a place that reminded me of old Spanish Town, down town, several of inner city communities, I mean even a radio personality on their version of a call in programme indicated that he hoped the funds that they got from the PetroCaribe would someday make the place look like the USA to which a coworker noted that there would be no shanti towns.

How could I forget,  I live in a place where its been a week since I have applied to open a bank account and to this its still hasn’t been opened!  I mean they say every application has to go through their central bank but come one with just less than 400,000 people living here why does it take more than a week to open an account? Bureaucracy or nah?

Bossy did say to wait until I leave to right this blog, but today, today, was just one a dem days so much so I swore I had put my camera in my bag so that I would be able to take pictures BUT as I was driving through the “city” and seeing the places I could not find the camera to take the pics. It wasn’t until I got home I found it, so as far as I’m concerned it may just have been for a reason that I wasn’t able to capture the city in its truest form.

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Chronicles of Tanya: Adventures of a Madwoman ~ the International Edition

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Looks like I took too long to write this blog, as I have completely forgotten everything I planned on writing and the order in which I wanted to present them…next time I’ll follow my mind and just start it on my phone and figure out the rest later.

I will say this though I am starting to question why it is I like travelling. Really, think about it; the hassle of ensuring that your luggage is a certain weight, which is especially hard when you are trying to pack for moving away from home for year. Then having accomplished that, the task of stripping down to your bare essentials to ensure that you are not taking anything illegal with you. Quite frankly I think we should just all go to the airport naked, saves everyone time and effort (lol but what a sight that would be). Then you would think entering the plane and finding your seat would be the simple part of the trip, but ALAS NOPE it isn’t. I think that is the part that irritates me the most, I mean you KNOW EXACTLY what seat you are supposed to be sitting in, what type of luggage you can take on the plane and how it should be placed in the overhead bin but yet still I still have to stand in the tiny isle and wait until you put up ur HUGE carry on, rum etc. etc. and realize that you are in the wrong seat.

Uuuugghhh trust when I tell you that that shit really annoys me to the point where on this trip, I had to get real Tanya on two ladies on my flight! Now imagine being booked on the back of the plane, if you are like me when travelling, I always try to enter after most people have gone on, giving them enough time to complete the activities above. That way I can get on and just go to my seat; this trip was not that at all. Having waited to be one of the few persons to board last, when I got, on low and behold there was a queue; anyway though seriously annoyed I waited patiently while inching up to my seat, being only 2 or 3 seats away bam we had stopped, why, because someone had sat in another person’s seat and we had to wait until he found his ticket to verify to himself that he was indeed in the wrong seat!

However, while all of that was happening the lady behind was apparently to sit in the seat where I was blocking, so the lady at the end got up for her to enter, ok not a problem; however, the lady behind me then says “ma’am could you move up a bit?” So I said move to where, any further and I will be on that man’s ass…apparently that as not a satisfactory response and she started babbling and getting an attitude. Now if you know me lol I just gave her my famous side eye and just ignored her and her ramblings, ONLY to have the person who had gotten up to allow her in the row turn and say the same thing and that the laptop bag was heavy, so if I could move up please and thank you and then started laughing. Well people, the bitch in me just stood there! I was like who the $#%&* are you trying to show up or embarrass on this flight you ARE NOT GOING TO GET A RISE OUTTA ME! ‘Cause as far as I am concerned you should have sat your ass and the laptop down on the seat until the lady was able to enter the row! Kmt lucky, having pulled and pushed almost 100lbs of luggage, unpacked and re-packed my carry on to clear airport security I was not in the mood.

I will say this though, (I am not trying to put it out in the atmosphere) but God forbid anything should happen with the plane, I will be sleeping through it! LMAO would you believe that as soon as I sat in my seat, I fell right asleep?! Lol I mean, I was conscious enough to know that there were issues with the plane and the flight would be delayed but after hearing that I was out cold until they started serving refreshments and that I was out again until the plane landed (as usual).

Any who, having landed and all, I thought I would have difficulties with immigration and customs BUT to my surprise I didn’t! Cleared immigration hassle free and as I joined the line to declare my things I met a nice customs officer who chatted me and started asking why I was here, how long I would be staying, what did I bring etc etc. so I told him Milo and those things and he was like girl, we have all those things here :-D. All this time here was looking in the man’s mouth only to see that he had in a gold tooth!!!!!! Lol guys believe me when I tell u it seems like almost all the men here wear gold teeth (the porter at the airport who carried my bags, the driver to picked me up and couple others that I saw when I went to clear my cargo)! Lol I was like, what century are we in again? #cultureshock seriously, a mussi only ninja man mi know still where gold teeth and I think the last programme I saw him on, I don’t recall seeing him in them. It is also quiet distasteful to have it in at work! #gross #unprofessional much?

Then it was time to head home and this is where I became a little salty about my transportation. I won’t go into it except to say that, I don’t like complainers, if you are given a task, be prepared for the worst because shit always happens as it did in this case. Nonetheless, having switched vehicles twice and three drivers later, I made it home and for those on my Facebook page the rest is history.

I will close by saying; I completely understand why our diaspora take certain items on their return home e.g. wheat bread! Lol man, I miss my national honey wheat bread. I definitely want that in my care package for anyone planning on sending me things. Additionally, if you are leaving home for an extended period pack everything and anything you think you may not need, trust me those are the things you will need. How do you now, simple, once you have a thought that you won’t need it PACK IT, because YOU WILL!

Ok peeps, I’m out, didn’t expect this blog to be this long but as I start to experience the country and what they have to offer I will try to share as much as I can. Right now, I need to figure out a hair salon, nail technician, transportation and the market settings.

Thanks again #teamtanya love and miss you guys

PS, would you believe that they play the raw version of the dancehall songs “badwud” and all on the radio?! Yes sah, I couldn’t believe, almost cricked my neck doing a double take when I heard it. Guess they need a Broadcasting Commission here too, I mean they have almost everything other Ministry and Public Body here that Jamaica has.