Chronicles of Tanya: Adventures of a Madwoman ~ the International Edition

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Looks like I took too long to write this blog, as I have completely forgotten everything I planned on writing and the order in which I wanted to present them…next time I’ll follow my mind and just start it on my phone and figure out the rest later.

I will say this though I am starting to question why it is I like travelling. Really, think about it; the hassle of ensuring that your luggage is a certain weight, which is especially hard when you are trying to pack for moving away from home for year. Then having accomplished that, the task of stripping down to your bare essentials to ensure that you are not taking anything illegal with you. Quite frankly I think we should just all go to the airport naked, saves everyone time and effort (lol but what a sight that would be). Then you would think entering the plane and finding your seat would be the simple part of the trip, but ALAS NOPE it isn’t. I think that is the part that irritates me the most, I mean you KNOW EXACTLY what seat you are supposed to be sitting in, what type of luggage you can take on the plane and how it should be placed in the overhead bin but yet still I still have to stand in the tiny isle and wait until you put up ur HUGE carry on, rum etc. etc. and realize that you are in the wrong seat.

Uuuugghhh trust when I tell you that that shit really annoys me to the point where on this trip, I had to get real Tanya on two ladies on my flight! Now imagine being booked on the back of the plane, if you are like me when travelling, I always try to enter after most people have gone on, giving them enough time to complete the activities above. That way I can get on and just go to my seat; this trip was not that at all. Having waited to be one of the few persons to board last, when I got, on low and behold there was a queue; anyway though seriously annoyed I waited patiently while inching up to my seat, being only 2 or 3 seats away bam we had stopped, why, because someone had sat in another person’s seat and we had to wait until he found his ticket to verify to himself that he was indeed in the wrong seat!

However, while all of that was happening the lady behind was apparently to sit in the seat where I was blocking, so the lady at the end got up for her to enter, ok not a problem; however, the lady behind me then says “ma’am could you move up a bit?” So I said move to where, any further and I will be on that man’s ass…apparently that as not a satisfactory response and she started babbling and getting an attitude. Now if you know me lol I just gave her my famous side eye and just ignored her and her ramblings, ONLY to have the person who had gotten up to allow her in the row turn and say the same thing and that the laptop bag was heavy, so if I could move up please and thank you and then started laughing. Well people, the bitch in me just stood there! I was like who the $#%&* are you trying to show up or embarrass on this flight you ARE NOT GOING TO GET A RISE OUTTA ME! ‘Cause as far as I am concerned you should have sat your ass and the laptop down on the seat until the lady was able to enter the row! Kmt lucky, having pulled and pushed almost 100lbs of luggage, unpacked and re-packed my carry on to clear airport security I was not in the mood.

I will say this though, (I am not trying to put it out in the atmosphere) but God forbid anything should happen with the plane, I will be sleeping through it! LMAO would you believe that as soon as I sat in my seat, I fell right asleep?! Lol I mean, I was conscious enough to know that there were issues with the plane and the flight would be delayed but after hearing that I was out cold until they started serving refreshments and that I was out again until the plane landed (as usual).

Any who, having landed and all, I thought I would have difficulties with immigration and customs BUT to my surprise I didn’t! Cleared immigration hassle free and as I joined the line to declare my things I met a nice customs officer who chatted me and started asking why I was here, how long I would be staying, what did I bring etc etc. so I told him Milo and those things and he was like girl, we have all those things here :-D. All this time here was looking in the man’s mouth only to see that he had in a gold tooth!!!!!! Lol guys believe me when I tell u it seems like almost all the men here wear gold teeth (the porter at the airport who carried my bags, the driver to picked me up and couple others that I saw when I went to clear my cargo)! Lol I was like, what century are we in again? #cultureshock seriously, a mussi only ninja man mi know still where gold teeth and I think the last programme I saw him on, I don’t recall seeing him in them. It is also quiet distasteful to have it in at work! #gross #unprofessional much?

Then it was time to head home and this is where I became a little salty about my transportation. I won’t go into it except to say that, I don’t like complainers, if you are given a task, be prepared for the worst because shit always happens as it did in this case. Nonetheless, having switched vehicles twice and three drivers later, I made it home and for those on my Facebook page the rest is history.

I will close by saying; I completely understand why our diaspora take certain items on their return home e.g. wheat bread! Lol man, I miss my national honey wheat bread. I definitely want that in my care package for anyone planning on sending me things. Additionally, if you are leaving home for an extended period pack everything and anything you think you may not need, trust me those are the things you will need. How do you now, simple, once you have a thought that you won’t need it PACK IT, because YOU WILL!

Ok peeps, I’m out, didn’t expect this blog to be this long but as I start to experience the country and what they have to offer I will try to share as much as I can. Right now, I need to figure out a hair salon, nail technician, transportation and the market settings.

Thanks again #teamtanya love and miss you guys

PS, would you believe that they play the raw version of the dancehall songs “badwud” and all on the radio?! Yes sah, I couldn’t believe, almost cricked my neck doing a double take when I heard it. Guess they need a Broadcasting Commission here too, I mean they have almost everything other Ministry and Public Body here that Jamaica has.

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ADVENTUROUS OR MAD?!

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Like every job application you make, you always hope for the best and prepare for the worst (well at least that’s how I see things). So with this application as with many others, I didn’t think I would be successful even though a friend of mine was sure and confident that I would be. Then came the interview, the wait and then the phone call! Hahaha no matter how I had imagined I would be ready to pack my bags and leave I can attest that you are and will never be quite prepared to take up your entire life and move not just to another county but as my #privateman said another hemisphere.

Every time I think of packing I get completely stressed out and overwhelmed. It’s not just at the thought of packing your stuff, but all that goes into moving: (i) finding accommodations, (ii) getting information on where you’re moving to (do not follow the internet!), (iii) completing paper work for where you’re living and where ever you’re moving to and (iv) getting rid of stuff that you can’t take, i.e. car, furniture. What I will say is that I can’t help but think that is situation and transition was ordained and meant to be. Won’t go into the specifics but if you know me and know what has been happening you will definitely agree and understand.

With all of the above said and with half of those things done, paper work in progress, car sold, my #privateman holding down the fort, I decide to take a trip lol to sort out living arrangements here and to see whether what I had read on the internet was indeed accurate, along with finding a place to rest my head. So my adventure started with a stopover in Miami for several hours then I was on my way! Then I arrived, (dun dun dun)! Lol look here people, and no disrespect to the people of Belize and by extension Belmopan but I was completely taken aback that I had to disembark a plane via stairs (yes people there is no gate with the ramp and cover thingy)! Oh yes I said stairs! Lol I have never done that before; and as I walked to the airport I thought this must be what NMIA looked like when they had the waving gallery.

As I left the airport and went to the car rental place and looked across the airport, I suddenly thought that this must have been what NMIA looked like in the 70s! lol please be reminded that I am and 80s child (you know as I am writing this, I am so going to look for a picture of the airport back then).  It gets better people; when the plane landed I immediately tried to get the roaming to work, so as it wouldn’t the car rental representative kindly escorted me to the telephone place. After being there for  little fiddling with the phone he then says I’m sorry ma’am your phone CANT roam here and people mek mi tell u that was the first time tears come a mi yeye an made me want to come home! Lol, so bright me then say ok, since I have to get a chip can I have a postpaid please? Lol it gets better, lol the telephone company rep then says, ma’am you will need to deposit 1000 Belizean dollars! Hahahaha wooieee….for those who don’t know that US$500 which equates to how much Jamaican? (do the math). Needless to say, I took the prepaid sim and got myself some credit (about 5 years not mi nuh have prepaid phone).

So, having the phone sorted out, and with the assistance of my boss to be, off I went to find my way to BELMOPAN! After a couple wrong turns and stops I finally made it! First stop was the office to meet all who were present then it was off to the hotel to rest up for the next day to apartment hunt. Little did I know that I would be become sick (you know I need to start expecting this)! I am still not even sure what is wrong with me!!!!!!!! Aches, pain, headache and fever for 2.5 days…with the help of some paracetamol, Advil, coconut water and vitamin C, I am just starting to feel a little better. Good thing I didn’t plan on doing any sightseeing this trip! I would be really pissed off!

Nonetheless, I did do a little driving around by myself, with the real estate agent (VERY NICE LADY) and a breddrin that I knew from university days. I got to know the place a little and from what I have seen and can decipher, Belmopan is pretty laid back. Friday is what Saturdays are to Jamaicans with the hustle and bustle and Saturday seems like Sunday to me. I will tell you what Sunday feels like in another post; but for the most part, all they don’t have are movie theatres (that’s in Belize City) and fast food chains, interestingly though, a scotchies apparently just opened up and best believe I will be trying it before I leave! Notwithstanding they have several banks (Scotia included), at least four decent places that you can lyme and get food, a couple of bistros, cable and internet (which outside of food are more important to me) several supermarkets AND even a COURTS! Look to my FACEBOOK page for those lol.

Belmopan reminds me of Negril but without the beaches, and the drive to get there reminds me of the leg from Hanover into Negril, for me I’m glad I had an open mind before I came here and which is why I said to not read what’s on the internet. My mission was accomplished and the next few months should be interesting. While there are no movie theatres or TGIFs, there are things like the Mayan Ruins, the rainforest, being able to drive or take a bus to Mexico, the zoo, a place called the blue hole which will all make for good adventures and blogs!

Bless up and thanks again #TEAMTANYA JLS, RAB, #Delinquents, #86(DS) MD, TD, ND PS the support and the well wishes are really appreciated.

PS it rained every day since I have been here 😦

http://www.panoramio.com/photo/60096567

GROOVING!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Bwoy finding things to put in a blog not easy at all! Especially when you not sure what the masses like and if they will be interested in what you’re saying but having not written in a while and having been on the road trying to get my groove back there is one thing for sure that I have noticed and just figure I’d put it out there and see if its only me (which is often the case) or if it’s because of the gingerational gap…I think that’s what it is ‘cause back in the days when we were growing up there wasn’t no cellphone or social media.

So in trying to get my groove back I have done road a couple a nights, and in #doingroad I have realized that parties aren’t what they used to be at all! Take for example last night when we went to #pepseed, I mean Roland was so excited ‘cause DJ Nico was playing, mind you I don’t even know who him be but hey, I just figured what a way to unwind after the end of financial year stress. So we got there later than the first time we went, having been drawn out at 10 pm only to get there to help the DJ set up I mean there was literally no music playing when we got there (BTW if you get confused don’t worry, I too was confused when I was writing this) and when the DJ saw an hear me start complain that’s when he moseyed to his area to turn on his equipment, needless to say I think it was Arif that played that night so he made up for it and a good night was had by all. Now back to last night, we got there like after 11 (yes mi affi get in an out early, I can now only party for 3 hrs tops worst it was mid week AND I have a workshop to attend) an I’m almost certain once again there was no music playing and if it was it was so low that you didn’t realize it was on.

Anywho based on Rallo’s excitement I’m thinking this DJ Nico person going kill it so I would have danced up a storm to be ready to leave by 1am. People not only was Nico a total disappoint, I came to the realization that people are no longer going out to dance til dem wet (hehehe…I have a gutter mind) but are only going out to brag that they were a certain location and to check an update dem social media sites (mind you I do it too but that’s when I’m either bored or dem start play soca an mi decide to tek a break) I mean the DJ tried last night but who wasn’t taking pics, updating their many social media accounts, were just chatting JESUS CHRIST we had to be straining our ears over the chatter to hear the damn music and trust me by 12:15 I was over it an ready to go home!

I mean no one was dancing! I don’t get it? Why come out to an event to just chat and be on your phone?can’t you do that at home or in ur car, I mean that’s what I do when I don’t get to go out and outside of all of us there partying who else is up for you be be chatting to? I mean most people nuh gone a dem bed already and aren’t those who are up standing beside you already?! I have gone to quad an see one girl a back it up pon one guy an all he did was stood there chatting the girl an har fren pon him bbm wid him breddrin! who does that?!

Like I said last night only cemented my assertion cause trust me even last Friday we went to an event an I’m telling you people, while I was there with the younger gingeration not a soul was dancing, all they did was just stood there, took selfies or watch what everyone was doing (hehehehe even me) and when the girls did decide to back it up pon de man dem, one guy literally stood there looking down at the girl with a look of OMG I can’t believe you are carrying on like this! I mean he didn’t move an inch to her gyration; nope he just stood there and chatted with his friends!

Mi nah lie, back in my hay day…lol I was notorious fi wine an kotch https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NKJIIHgy1E0  Hahahahhahahahah (I mean while mi caan move like some girl mi can do a thing, up to Friday one of my friends said every time he hears that songs he remembers me! Lol, it look like I’ve gotten shy or just have been out of it too long) when we go out an a party my gosh man a day light a bring we home, an we not even did memba say we have cell phone/camera fi a tek picture an, I mean we never have facebook, but there was myspace and the name of other one is slipping me an when selecta say every man find a girl all if a nuh urs the men complied there was NO WAY that a man would have a girl a wine an kotch pon him an him nah match har pace! U mad unheard of!

I missed those days, the days when people just went out and dance and have fun, and the only time anyone said anything was (1) when dem need fi know what u drinking, (2) when dem go to the bar to order the drinks an (3) if the selector pause the music fi the ladies or the crowd sing out! Not even that gwaan again; but like I said people, maybe it’s just me and if it is the people dem in my complex an those who see me in traffic will just have to get used to it cause mi nuh ramp fi bruk out inna di van deh while on the five minute drive to work! Please leave your comments and share with friends to see if I am getting mad or mi jus affi accept the movement!

BTW how could I forget to comment on the verdict of the YEAR!!!!!!!!!!! GUILTY!!!!!!!!! To hell!!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D-ZMjHT1M6U I won’t lie I thought he would get off but hey if you do the crime u affi do the time! Chin up yute, once is for sure two twos u time run off (however how dem deicde fi gi u) my only hope is that you can still me music and that art really does imitate life! Wid songs like these one has to wonder https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-yIsGzA5f-w https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iNNOTM97er4 but I will always rate him for songs like this! Lol https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7TocrHUnxko a mi DJ nah go round him!!!!!!

….And We’re Off!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Aye bwoy, so many things have happened since my last blog but I’ll try to list them in the order that they happened and as I remember them.  However, let mi just get through the formalities and to say Merry belated Xmas and a Happy New Year (but you know a thought came to me one morning…like the 9th day into the year when my neighbour was like “happy new year Tanya” and I thought to myself, when are people going to stop saying that I mean is it still new after the first couple of days??? Or is it just me on this?! Lol I am gonna go with it just me, hahaha and that’s quite fine) to the members of #teamtanya and my devoted readers of the blog who hounded me about the next posting lol mi love unoo!!!!!

Anywhos back to the matter at hand.  Since my last blog I think the first to happen was that I got braces!!!!!!!! Oh no wait, the first thing to happen was Tessane winning the voice and winning on my birthday!!!!! Wwoohhooo that was an amazing gift! Only thing to top that is if I get married or have a baby on that day! Hehehehehe, hey I’m speaking it into the universe 😀  hehehehehehe BUT back to the braces ….

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Silly me, NO one told me and I men No one, that it would have been so painful! Now two months in and having lost 4 teeth I am being told that the pain nuh start yet!!!!! Like WTF not only is it painful, it is expensive (yes apparently I don’t like having extra money on my pocket) it is also embarrassing to eat out!!! OMG everything get stuck in either your bracket or your teeth; KMT and U affi brush u teeth like almost every time you eat. uugghhhh but apparently there are upside(s) to this endeavour, weight loss and a perfect smile; both of which I have yet to see any proof of I mean my teeth look more jacked up if you ask me. But I take comfort in being able to select the colours for my brackets 😀 lol I mean first it was hot pink and now I’m rocking blue and yellow #lifessimplepleasures

And then STING happened DWRCL I mean I can’t say much on it seeing that I didn’t attended but from the footage I have seen and the interviews with the respective acts, especially MACKA Diamond aka lady mackerel and lady saw I would have to say it is indeed the greatest show on earth! Lol Macka aye bwoy, leave lady saw an mek she gwaan inna har church please!

Then there was Shaggy and friends…I don’t think there is much I can say on this except, the show was way too long, I mean people all start sleep an I mean real sleep! Plus while I love chronixx’s album I don’t like him as a performer; can we say BORING (mi boss ago kill mi fid is…she love him bad lol) and no stage presence.  The highlights for me were…elephant man, konshens, tarrus riley, wayne marshall’s son Gio! Absolutely amazing, didn’t get Macka tho, but I consoled myself with the thought that she was booked before STING happened lol she really wasn’t necessary. I am sure there were others that I liked but with how many days gone since the show mi nuh memba all a dem! Heck I can barely remember what happened yesterday much less 3 weeks ago.

I also found out why some of my friends are either married or are engaged! Lol not to mention why some are in relationships while the rest of us are single! Hahaha and how could I forget those that don’t like “balls”!!!! hahahaha that night was just too funny lol aye bwoy, I told you guys I may not call unoo name but the stories will get on here eventually #moviegang #socialites #birthdayclub lol love unoo (caan even put up unoo name).

I am sure other things happened but like I said I caan memba dem right yah now so until my next post, I hope everyone has a great year with all your desires coming to fruition and don’t be afraid to go after what you want; the worst that can happen is that it doesn’t happen. I also want to say big ups to my bossy! I think I have one of the best if not the best bossy ever! Always sets me str8 with a little encouragement after 😀 Big ups to my DT and RT safe delivery guys! Camo, Squiddy, MD our resident ghost LH CQ #delinquents Rallo, Berto my blogter thanks for always keeping it real sometimes too real lol and big ups of course to #teamtanya lol Nats a u say it enuh…I really appreciate and love you guys.

Oh yes how could I forget, lol I am officially Ms. Tanya A Wright, BSc, LLM lol I crack up every time I write it! I think it’s the most hilarious thing ever! Truly glad I can laugh about it now, wasn’t so funny couple months ago….And finally big ups to my MOMMY and my sister, lawd a miss unoo :-*    

Oooo one last thing big ups to CB!!!!!!! Memba we deal enuh…my suitcase is packed and ready!

#blowjob

#blowjob

CRAVEN CHOKE TANYA…LOL

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Can you believe it’s my one month anniversary since I’ve started writing this blog?! Good stuff, it has indeed been awhile since I’ve been on here but that’s only because I have been tired and haven’t feel like writing much; adult day care have mi way star (yes, I will explain what that is eventually). Additionally, I was not sure what I would right about, still not quite sure what I want to write about now, so it should be interesting to see where the blog goes based on the title.

Funnily the title came up shortly after I wrote the first blog “stove, what stove”; in that quite a few people think mi craven! Plus I am sure that all the pics on my Instgram and Facebook don’t help either Lol but to me I am not.  I just have a healthy appreciation food (especially, pasta! I swear I must have been Italian in my previous life)! Lol, I mean I’ve had friends tell me that “mi hate hear when u say u hungry, u always sound like a starving child out of Somalia or something…just go buy something fi eat nuh” or they prefer to build me a house rather than feed me. Roland even tell mi say my desire for food is unhealthy and he is concerned cause no one person should be that hungry so many times.

This is it people, a lot of the times when I say I’m hungry I really don’t get up and go get something to eat enuh.  Example’ on the weekends, unoo see when my laziness kick in, I mean not even my teeth mi waan brush – tru tru, hahahahaha;  so when I think about having to get up and prepare food to put in the toaster oven or microwave mi jus go back go sleep, which results in me not eating for the entire weekend (some may see this as starvation but hey a my life, whateva yah man). The compromise tho, is that, if I am going to eat and I have to leave the house where ever I am going has to have a drive thru, but seeing as how I am pickey with what I eat , I mean with my junk food (believe it not) lol it always work out that I always end up at KFC Springs Plaza.  Yea, I don’t care much for burger (BK’s) or Island Grill and in my warp mind, chicken from Popeye’s, which is always fried, is more fattening than the BBQ chicken at KFC…hahahaha yes I have issues.

Another example would be yesterday and today.  Yesterday I bought a medium soup and large stew beef with ½ cup rice and peas with just about the same tossed veg (I try to cut out the rice as much as I can, but unoo understand, these fast food place nuh ramp fi dash out the rice gi people) but based on all that had to be done at day care I only drank the soup for lunch; so the stew beef et al came home with me for dinner.  As for today now, my bossy offered to take me for a congratulatory lunch but again I had no time and had to push it back to next week AGAIN as a result of all that had to be done at the day care; and by the time I was able to catch my breath and take a breather it would make no sense to go on the road to get food to make it back to the office before 5pm. Yea Yea, for all who know me probably wondering what work finishing at 5 have to do wid you going to look food, seeing that I rarely ever leave at that time but leaving at that time to fight traffic is discouraging enough.  So what did I eat? some seasoned potato and a Tropicana.

I am sure that you are thinking that I had a big dinner, interestingly enough I didn’t, I just had 3 slices of wheat bread an plantains (I LOVE plantains) and trust me that’s the way most of days go; I have to force and remind myself to eat; mind you also, that I don’t really eat breakfast either.

I don’t think unoo understand the extent of laziness, I think it cripples me when I’m home; I don’t know if it’s because I do so much at the day care during the week but once I am home I don’t even want to think about having to do anything, I only have enough energy to take of my clothes, turn on the tv (read whatever you want to read in between that lol) and lift the remote to change the channel and that is based on which night of the week it is, cause if it’s a Thursday, know she my tv nah move from abc.  My laziness is bad people, really bad.

Mind you enuh, there are Sundays, when mi really throw down enuh, chicken, veg, mash or potato salad, yam casserole and some rice but that happens ever so often, like this year I may have cooked four times in total.  It’s like this, I can come home and not eat anything, or I can come home and feel like just bounce some crackers or egg an bread wid a cup a tea an mi good (being single and childless affords me this privilege).  FYI tho I do plan to make one more meal before the year ends (no it won’t be xmas dinner) therefore before and after that I will munch on what is available.

it is therefore my view that I am only chunky because I am storing fat based on the fact that I rarely eat and as a result of being contented with myself and my life.  Trust me, if there was a way to eat all I like without getting fat and exercising like my friend Toni Mac, I probably still wouldn’t benefit lol because I’d still be too lazy to prepare the meal but then again I could always eat out, but alas! this is affected by one’s financial resources…see there are so many factors that prevent people from eating as they like.

Remember http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0RlKVVEV0yw

Just in case I don’t do one of these for the rest of the month, please note that my birthday is Dec 17 and I take gifts in cash or kind (nuh offer mi nuh sex or boyfriend). So bless up and have a MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!

PS I am not a Christmas person to the point where my co worker told I am not the Grinch, I am now a Jehovah’s Witness (lol I hope none of my friends reading this are) lol but hey I may try and write one in time for the new year celebration if I am not sleeping. Yes people I sleep through that too.

1 STEP FORWARD 50,000 BACKWARDS!!!!!!!!!!!

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So after I wrote the blog about single, to be or not to be, nuh love an hip hop atlanta mi buck up inna!!!!! (yes all now mi nuh sleep from mi wake yesterday 😦 been trying since I got home)

Dear Jesus a weh a gwaan inna John shop?! unoo see say unoo coulda deh wid man fi uptime years (in this instance thirteen) pickney and all ONLY to have the man MARRIED to someone who he has known for less than a year.

Ladies seriously, although I am secretly hoping this story line is fake we all KNOW that is really happening. We need fi do better bout ladies, a man cannot dish out that which we are Not willing accept. You see what she say in this situation, he cheated once before and now he has done it again!!

Lord, give me strength cause I swear that man would be 6 feet under…an den it nuh dun deh seh unoo, she go meet wid di girl, look here your business is not with the girl, its with man! I swear is like all the struggles that people like maya angelou an everybody before and afta her that promoted female independence and assertiveness, either a role in dem grave and has taken like 5000 step backwards!!!!!!!!

C’mon ladies, get it together man, zeeeessss AND then to top it off, this bald head man Joe Budden a try use him big head bout him have a girl just a chat in di room inna di bed weh him an ooman share?! a who him think bawning yessiday.  I swear if man like dat still deh bout mi ago single for the rest a mi life.

I mean, I am all for entertain mi jus caan bodda wid the foolishness man…mona scott young u need fi do betta man….when I read the bio of these new ladies they all sound accomplished with place going, but in this last episode I find myself search for those bios to see if they made an error.

So to anyone reading this, that is in no way shape or form the reality of independent professional women, some of us really have no need to accept mediocrity from man or any other being and KNOW that it IS okay to be single, a word which should never be associated with LONELY! nuff extra circular activities deh bout to keep you busy.

Respect yourself. – lol I will say though that that girl amena showing of teh marriage licence was priceless – lol u know for entertainment purposes but dear Lord what a mess

Single! To be or Not to be, THAT IS the question

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Disclaimer:  Rated R…please tuck the little ones into bed before reading this, but u know maybe it not as graphic as I think but just in case.

I got a message from a friend (one of my ex) to help him with his cover letter and resume for a job that he was going to apply for today (yes people I kip good relations wid my exes; afta mi nuh know weh life ago dish out gi mi!) and I figured why not just fight the fight and write the write…plus people have been asking what happen the blog?! Normally it in my google thing and now mi nuh see it! Lol so here goes 😀

For as much single frenz that I have I think I have as much married friends, but sometimes I swear I caan tell the difference cause more time the married people dem gwaan and act like dem single while the single one dem jus a DEAD fi have smaddy or fi get married.

Me personally I have never had the dream that I wanted to be married at 25 with 2 children with a husband; how I see it and how it still a gwaan is that I am winging it! Lol to be in a relationship takes time and you have to work on it and trust me between adult day care (there is a story behind this) and this blog I don’t have the time.

Personally I have had my fair share of boyfriends over the years, some mi get buss ass fah, lol bout mi a come offa school buss and go look fi boyfriend (my father did give me what I was looking for that day) and some mi nearly get put out fah, probably was one in the same! Not to mention the time mi faddda lef the key wid mi bredda an mi long time tek it weh from him to go look fi the cutie cross the way only to have my fada do a “reverse back” ask mi bredda fi the key and be told that I have it and for no good reason. Wwwooiieee people when the belt done pop inna 6 pieces, a di limb dem offa di willow tree him draw fah hahahahah aye sah those were the days! (Hahahahah mi know say nuff a unoo neva know say a so mi used to bad!!!) Lol aye bwoy , a di odda mi a wonda weh di hell mi did see inna dem bwoy fi a tek so much lik.

But anyway, I doan think the amount a boyfriend dem weh me have did reach double digit yet though (surprising don’t?! Lol but a real thing…I’m a nester so once mi in it mi in it) however, out of all of them there are three that are most prominent to me and that I will always be grateful for what they taught me (pleasant & unpleasant)  (nuh worry people we going get into to it likkle).  Nuh feel nuh way all three a dem put me thru some things mi a tell u! wid likkle and continued counseling if you know me well there are two of them who you know I will take them back in a heartbeat!

People I have to give the first one props, this is the one that took me out of my misery, caan put it no other way; after him there was no turning back, literally, only fi mommy Sunday dinner 😀 of course. He was perfect! All this things I needed support, financial, mental, and emotional and all the other “al” that you can think of; but people you see quiet man fraid a dem! You see when we met, he said he didn’t have a girl friend as they broke up n all these things, neva matta to me one bit, I was just glad for the change in my life until one day, mi notice him a move sideways (and ladies this is why I don’t search a man phone! U ago get weh u a look fah! Lol – now he’s finally going to know the truth) so when him go bathe mi search him phone, only to realize that he “ex” was pregnant!!!!! Lawd jee bag pack an bear tings afta dat (move out/in, malice).  Mi say all when mi an him nuh inna nuttin him baby-mother used to call mi bout she waan meet to discuss our relationship! Lol  u know mi affi mek har know say that that is between she an the man, cause as far as I’m concerned he’s single therefore she nuh exist!

Look man as him remind me a only one mistake him mek but u see that one mistake lawd jesas it changed everything! Nah lie it took mi along time to get over it but when I did: MAN!! Lol it was a blessing and a curse!! Mi buck up pon one weh freak not even begin to describe him!!! Lol he was the first person to tell me that I was boring on bed! Lol YESS!!!!!!!! An mi say who did mad like when mi hear?! I was so offened and bex, mi memba the first time him send mi dirty messages (now called sexting) lol mi ask di man a who tell him say him can talk to me so?! Lol nuh ask if him nuh laff afta mi! lol but memba; wwooieeee lol I now have some tricks.  HOWEVER, mek mitell unoo people, dis man, I knew he had a son and “girlfriend” neva matter to me cause I didn’t want anything too serious so we agreed that we would go out an do stuff, all of a sudden homeboy ago tell me say him nuh know who can go out an have fun before 10…so people unoo know who did jus that and what happened when 10 pm came?! Yup mi gone a mi bed! Yea man if him nah leff fi him yaad at 2am him nuh feel good, which to me a rubbish cause at that time u an u man suppose to a look fi come home fi rubba dub dub, right?!

It gets better, him always waan go out, so one day mi say u neva even say mek u carry mi go buy a top yet a mi always affi a spend fi look nice…fawt homeboy mek mi know say all mi need is legging an any blouse mi have! Lol aye bwoy, needless to say it went downhill from there for several reasons, as along time follower on my fassbook page you may or may not have seen mi cuss out smaddy couple years aback.  But it all came to an end one day when mi get mad pon him an ask him how him waan bum sex and him neva eva ask how soap buy an wata pay fah fi mi bathe lol we never spoke until couple years afta that lol a mi big fren now.

Now this was the one that hurt the most, this was the one that I truly loved and he just got up and decided without telling me that he didn’t want to be in the relationship (this hot enuh cause u deh deh a think say all is well) worst we were talking about just sitting down an having some time to discuss the issues were having only to have the boy be a no show for a valentine’s day dinner that I planned, rose petals and all. Took me some time to get over it after crying many sleepless nights and some self assessment I realized where I was wrong but also so how flawed his views of me and life were and therefore thank God that it ended when it did before things got deeper or more complicated.  And yes we are still frenz lol to the point where I didn’t have to key his car this valentine’s day

Having said all of that, I feel like I haven’t answered the title of the blog, but this is how I see it, having read my experience along with you own you can then decide what your answer will be. Personally my answer is to be single, it easier right now as there are certain lifestyle changes that I will have to make and I am not in the frame of mind to do that; plus I always happen to walk into these guys randomly, so I figure the sooner I have less day care activities the more I’ll be able to walk into them.

Lol an to all my male fans out there, mi love unoo same way, jus know we don’t go dutch on shit ok, if u a look we spend you money!!!!! #badexperience And know that I am not running a creech or daycare so please be 35 n up! Lol I will also say though that mi hate a mean man, tek it from me my daddy scar mi fi life when it come on to that! PLUS if u have ever met mi frenz, Camo, DT, Sean Lloyd, Rallo etc etc unoo would a know say unoo nuffi try use unoo big head pon mi, mi have the fuckery move them pon lock.

So jus come srt8 an we’ll be good (more will). Lol

PS my usual disclaimer regarding grammatical errors will remain until I am able to write my blogs at a God damn decent hour!!! read and enjoy.